arts, literature

Sad Banana: The Impasse

Eighteen young Flemish and Dutch authors drew inspiration from the collection held by the Mauritshuis in The Hague. They looked at seventeenth-century paintings through the lens of an alternative history which they then brought to life in short but powerful texts. We join Sad Banana as they leave David Vinckboons’ Country Fair from 1629. ‘At this Fair history is ours! And me? I’m a showman and proud of it too.’

The Impasse

I no longer know what day it is, what time it is, which visitors are real and which part of the decor. Normally people come to the Fair to get away from their lives; I’m trying to find it here. This is a faltering simulation of a simulation of a simulation, an escape room for the present where we try to get a handle on the future via the past. This is where the whole history of the world is misused for personal ends. For a fee of course. This is no church fair. There are no saints here, nobody is safe and god is just a supporting character in one of the attractions. We dance the hoochie coochie, lap the rotgut from the nipple, floss candy between our slits and do our wurst on the church square. We hyperbolise in the thunder boxes until up is down and inside is out, we perforate the peripheries with our wet navels until the timeline starts displaying cracks. Here’s where people can connect over the escape from life. Fight against the ambivalence of this era. We are a perspiring blot on this sterile age. At this Fair, history is ours! And me? I’m a showman and proud of it too.

I’m not one for romanticising what used to be, but somewhere beyond these stalls lurks a life that will fit me like a cosy new coat. A past to wear like a fancy cloak with which I can cover this rough, spiky present. Cynicism isn’t tolerated here, each attraction smells of hope for renewed dreams for the future and stale beer mixed with warm mayonnaise.

Keep your hands off the walls. Before you know it, your fingers will be on your nose and your nose on your backside. Be careful not to end up in the wrong attraction at the wrong time or else the timeline will implode, and your consciousness will shatter all the way to BC and back. At least that’s what I got wind of yesterday at Dante’s Inferno, XXtra Hot Edition, the afterparty for the afterparty for the afterparty.

In any case, behind me is the first attraction: MatrixMarx, a red rollercoaster that only stops in 1848. Beyond it, at the tourist office, you can book exclusive existential walking tours in 5-D: Sisyphus Travels, including rock. This is where most people start to struggle. On top of the mountain sits The House of Hauntology, coming back down again you’ll arrive at the Thoreau Trailer Park, a campsite with an abandoned mobile home by a river. Oh, and should you feel hungry, you can eat at Sale Époque restaurant before taking Schrödinger’s Steps to the Darkride Kierkegaard or the Freaky Freudy. Once you’ve survived these, you’d better rush through Wonder World War 2; mind you, you’ll have to get across Cold War on Ice first – can you skate? Then there’s Fascist Folklore, Monarchy Mirror Mines, De-kolonisation Dungeon Dome, Seeking for Sissy, Krakau Karaoke, Flying Ferdinand 2.0, Arabic Springtime Sprint, Saving Private Palestina, Dancing with the Wars and the classic Plato’s Ravecave.

How long can you stay awake here without losing face?

• deBuren
• Mauritshuis
• Sad Banana